


I've Waited Way Too Long

by Enj_y



Category: The Centricide (Webseries)
Genre: Angst, Heavy Angst, Love Confessions, Other, Unhappy Ending, i seriously should not have done this, im so fucking sorry, im so sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,496
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28267230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Enj_y/pseuds/Enj_y
Summary: Ancom is shot at a general strike.
Relationships: Anarcho-Communism/Communism (Centricide), Left Unity - Relationship
Comments: 27
Kudos: 45





	I've Waited Way Too Long

**Author's Note:**

> several lines of dialogue were ripped from "In Case You Don't Live Forever" by Ben Platt  
> THIS IS VERY ANGSTY  
> IM VERY SORRY  
> I PROMISE CHRISTMAS FLUFF

Ancom never would have dared to imagine this, even a few years ago. Eighty million people on general strike in the United States, with four million of them marching on the capital, three million on the white house, and three million at the Supreme Court. Several other leftist ideologies were here today too, Ansyn was a few blocks over, leading her group towards the White House. Qi was pretty sure Marxist Feminism was with her too. Anarcho-pacifism and Queer Anarchism were heading for the Supreme Court. 

Qi looked up at Commie, who had a fierce look in his eyes as the two walked with the enormous crowd. Ancom hadn’t seen this many people marching since 2020… The joy of the moment swelled within qim, even as the first wave of tear gas hit the crowd. 

Ancom choked, swearing under qir breath, but it wasn’t anything they hadn’t dealt with before. The crowd, still four million strong, moved forward, undeterred. They knew what they were getting into. It’s worth it when you’re marching for what you believe in, at least that’s what Ancom had always believed. Qi knew that qi would lay down qir life in a second if it meant even getting one step closer to anarchy, without even a second’s hesitation. That was a sacrifice qi was willing to make. It always had been, and it always would be. 

At least… qi hoped qi would. Giving up qir life meant… well, it meant giving up Commie. Commie was special to qim in a way no other ideology was, or had been. Qi didn’t want to admit it, but… Qi loved him. Qi was desperately in love with him, had been for longer than qi could remember. The way his smile made qir heart skip in qir chest, the way he looked at qim like qi was more beautiful than any star in the sky… It was something qi wouldn’t give up for the world. And it was selfish, qi knew that, qi told qimself that every single day. Ancom had a responsibility here, to help organise qir people, to help overthrow the state… But it didn’t mean qir emotions went away, no matter how many times qi told qimself that.

But now wasn’t the time to dwell on those thoughts. There was no way anyone would die today. This was a peaceful demonstration, one meant to show the power of the united working class! Qi took Commie’s hand, and he looked over, smiling down at qim.

“You okay, kiska?” He asked softly.

“Yeah. Just… happy. Really happy,” Qi said, beaming at him. “This is just… one of the most amazing days of my life. I can’t believe it.” 

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Commie smiled. “Ten million people, all here in the capital. All here to show the power of the working class.” 

  
“It really is,” Qi sighed happily. Despite the tear gas, despite the rubber bullets, somehow qi still felt hopeful. This could change things! This could really change things. 

“Fuck,” Commie’s low voice startled qim, and qi saw what he was seeing. The army. They’d sent out the  _ fucking army _ . 

“Oh my  _ god _ ,” Ancom gasped, watching in what felt like slow motion as a gun was raised and fired.

It took a moment before the white-hot pain hit qim, starting in qir chest and bleeding out to the rest of qir body quickly. Ancom let out a high pitched cry, feeling qir legs wobble and give out from under qim. Tears welled up in qir eyes quickly, and qi heard what sounded like a scream behind qim.

“Ancom!” Commie dropped into qir line of vision, and qi felt him put a hand under qir knees and behind qir back, lifting qir body up easily in his arms. “Fuck, oh my god, those  _ bastards _ , fuck, fuck,” He panted out, head whipping wildly back and forth. “Hospital, fuck.” Ancom felt the world shake under qim as qi looked down at qir chest. Qi felt sick to qir stomach, qir dark green hoodie was already staining with red, and what qi could see through the hole wasn’t pretty. “God, where is it?!” Commie’s voice sounded strangled. 

“It’s not worth it,” Ancom whispered, reaching up to touch his face. Qir fingers were stained with qir own blood, leaving a mark on his face. “Just hold me. I’m not gonna make it, Commie, ah—” Qi choked, coughing heavily and feeling blood drip down qir lips. 

“No, no, no, you  _ are _ , don’t say that, you’re going to be okay!” Commie said desperately, still looking around as though a hospital would just materialise. 

“Commie, please,” Qi whimpered. “Just hold me. Just hold me.” Qi exhaled shakily, reaching up to cup his face.    
  


“I can’t let you die,” he whispered, holding qir hand against his face. “I can’t. I can’t do that. Ancom, god, fuck… Oh, Ancom…” Commie sunk down to the ground, cradling qim close to his chest. “I’m so fucking stupid.”

“What do you mean?” Ancom whispered. 

“I’ve waited way too long, Ancom,” He managed, looking down at qim with tears falling down his face. “You… I love you,” Commie said shakily, cupping qir face in one of his hands and wiping away one of qir tears. Ancom stared up at him, tears welling up faster in qir eyes and mouth falling open. “I have to tell you now, oh my god, oh, kiska…” 

“Commie,” Qi managed. “I…”

  
“No, please, don’t say anything. It’s okay, I just… I’ve waited too long to say all this, I have to tell you now,” Commie told qim, wiping at his own tears, but they just seemed to keep falling. “You’re going to be gone, and I didn’t tell you. I’m… I’m so sorry. You’re not going to live forever, so I have to tell you the truth: I love you more than you could ever wrap your head around. Every part of me I’m proud of is you. And I, I can’t let you die without telling you this.” He was openly sobbing now, and Ancom’s heart seemed to want to burst. 

This was everything qi’d ever wanted, he loved qim, and god, if only he’d said something sooner, they could have had everything. “I love you,” Qi whispered back. “Why did you wait so long?” 

“I was scared, and now, now I’ve waited too long, and you’re going to leave me, and oh, Ancom,” He rambled, breathing shaky and coming out in short bursts. “We’ve got so little time, and if you didn’t know, I think it’d kill me,” Commie whispered. 

“Please kiss me. I… I need you to,” Qi whimpered. Commie shifted qim in his arms, kissing qim softly. Qi shuddered, pressing a hand to qir chest. Just a little longer, if qi could just last a little longer, let qim last just a little longer… If the world could just take pity on qim, let qim live, let qim live in this world a little longer, let qim live in a world like this, let qim live in the world where he loved qim back, let qim live in a world where qir dreams could come true in the darkest time. 

But the universe would never be that kind to qim, would it? The world was blurry at the edges as the two pulled apart, and every breath qi took felt laboured and rough, even though they were shallow. “I feel like… I’m going to fall apart…” Qi managed.

  
“No, god, not yet, Ancom, not yet! Please, not yet, you can’t go yet, you can’t!” Commie sobbed, holding qim tightly against himself as though he could keep qim from dying by shielding qim with his body. “Please, please, please… I can’t live without you.” 

“You have to. Keep fighting for me, won’t you?” 

“No, yes, not yet! Not yet!” 

“Kiss me one last time,” Ancom said weakly. Commie did, and the last thing qi felt before the world disappeared was his lips on qirs. 

* * *

  
  


Commie let out a shuddering breath as qi went limp in his arms, qir usual emerald green tint fading to a sickly grey. His heart seemed to stop in his chest, looking at the tiny anarchist curled up against him. Qi was still so small, so sweet, and it made him sick. Why? Why did billionaires get to live, exploiting the working class, when this kitten didn’t? When someone so brave would be murdered for nothing? 

Qi was gone. Gone. Dead. The world was a darker place, and his life would never be the same. Everything good about him was from qim, was learned from qim, was inspired by qim. 

Qi couldn’t live forever, could qi? The world would never be so kind as to let qim stay with him a little longer. But at least qi knew. At least qi knew how he felt. At least qi died in his arms. At least qi wasn’t alone… 

At least he was able to give qim that. 

**Author's Note:**

> AGAIN, IM SORRY  
> PLS DO LEAVE A COMMENT  
> I LIVE FOR COMMENTS


End file.
